Retreat Agenda

Journey Free Religious Recovery Retreat

with Dr. Marlene Winell & Jayme Winell

Register for the June 8-11, 2023 retreat here, and make an initial deposit here. 

Retreat Agenda

This outlines the general plan for a 3-day Journey Free Recovery Retreat that begins Thursday evening and ends Sunday afternoon.The agenda is somewhat flexible depending on the needs of the group.

The following sessions will be interspersed with breaks and simple exercises for relaxing and trust-building.We will be working hard but also have a lot of fun with social time, delicious meals, hot tub, hikes, beach time, making art, a sing-along, and a talent show!  Participants are encouraged to journal throughout the retreat.

 

Thursday Evening

We begin with a welcoming check-in (3-5 pm)

Dinner

• Overview and introductions.  We explain the objectives of the weekend, the schedule, and answer any questions. Participants briefly introduce themselves and members of the Journey Free staff share who they are and why they do this work.
• Getting the most out of being here.  We ask about your hopes and fears for the weekend and then address them. We deal with assumptions such as whether psychology is dangerous and address problems getting help with religious recovery. We cover tips for maximizing your experience with the group. Confidentiality is emphasized and so is the concept of a “no judgment zone.” (Retreat attendees (“retreaters”) are encouraged but not compelled to participate in activities.)We set up our buddy system so everyone will have a partner for support.
• Appreciating Strengths + Post-Traumatic Growth.  We recognize that although we feel damaged by religion, many people have been through a recovery process of some kind and done well.  There is hope for healing and thriving.  In addition to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), there is “Post-traumatic Growth.”  We all have strengths from our experiences and have learned important lessons. Clarifying goals and values is important to the process of recovery.

Homework: Make sure your questionnaire is completed.Write in your journal about what we have covered so far. Enjoy talking with others, evening snack, a walk on the beach, art materials, music. Get acquainted with your buddy.

 

Friday

Breakfast

Optional walk in surrounding natural environment.

• Being in our Bodies.  We are more than our thoughts and feelings; we are wonderfully physical beings who can move and dance and connect.  The body is not bad like you may have been taught. Our bodies hold immense wisdom, in fact.  For this segment, we get you out of your heads and into your bodies for some gentle, fun movement exercises with inspiring music.  This session is led by dance educator Jayme Winell.
• Understanding religious trauma.  An important starting point in the healing process is to understand what you have been through.This creates both intellectual comprehension and compassion, which is essential for healing.It’s not your fault.We will discuss what childhood indoctrination is and why it can be mentally and emotionally abusive.We look at two sources of religious harm – toxic doctrines and toxic practices – which produce TRE’s, or toxic religious experiences.We cover the topic of trauma, identify religious trauma, and begin our discussion of methods of dealing with “emotional flashbacks” or triggering.
• Story-telling, part 1.  Participants use a special process to tell each other in small groups about their experiences with religion.

Lunch

Beach time.

• Story-telling, Part 2.  In pairs, participants share experiences with deciding to leave a religious group, and the issues they are finding most challenging now.As a group, we list and discuss the reasons we have decided to leave harmful religion.

Dinner

Homework: Enjoy relaxation options for the evening: Music, art, beach walks, hot tub, dancing. Write in your journal. Check in with your buddy.

• Non-demand “talent show.”  We have fun and celebrate the many ways we can express ourselves.  Contribute anything you like – music, story, poetry, art, drama, dance, comedy…or just do a hand stand.  (Yes, it’s been done, with great applause).  This is yet another “no-judgment zone” and it is okay to be silly.  We also appreciate audience members!

 

Saturday

Breakfast

• Check-in.  After some stretching and dance, we begin with a check in to find out how everybody is doing so far. Any concerns, questions, or suggestions about the retreat are invited. Reading of “Hats off to the courageous.”
• Trust walk.  This is a pleasant exercise we do in pairs to explore trust and sensory awareness.
• Emotional do-overs.  Past trauma can be lodged deep in our psyches where we’ve buried the hurt and anger.  Yet we can sense it in our bodies and when we have intense emotions we don’t understand.  Fortunately, the brain is not frozen and with relaxation and support from others, it is possible to return to earlier times, acknowledge the injury, and give the “child within” the needed love and healthy psychological messages to replace the toxic treatment and neglect.  In this exercise, the group acts like a family, attending to one group member at a time to let you be a small child again and welcome you to the world, innocent and precious from birth. Born again, again?

Lunch

Beach time.

• The idea monster.  We have all been taught deeply toxic ideas that affect us, both consciously and unconsciously.  Clarifying them helps to loosen their grip and create space for new ideas.  We will take a look at how the “Idea monster” (aka inner critic) works and learn strategies for intervening for self-protection.  In a writing exercise, everybody will identify their most problematic “Idea Monster” thoughts, learn about rebuttals, and create alternatives.  In small groups, we’ll find ways of reinforcing the new assumptions and beliefs with choices of behavior and lifestyle.
• From reaction to intention.  We will learn more about how the brain works and why trauma gets “triggered.” We have both sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems which need to stay in balance. We will cover ways to achieve this with “Trigger Action Planning” and then practice in dyads.
• Future vision.  As important as healing the past, we need to clarify where we want to go in the future, and let that inspire the change we seek.  In this segment, we work on values and goals.  As part of the process, we write about our commitment to being the persons we want to be.  Our intentions can powerfully mark the path of personal growth.

Dinner

Free time: Enjoy relaxation activities and write in your journal.

• Group Sing-a-long.  Churches are not the only place to enjoy music.With the aid of musicians and songbooks, we will enjoy a time of singing inspirational, secular songs.

Sunday

Breakfast

• Check-in.  We begin with stretches and movement, followed by checkins.We will then have a short writing prompt that is designed to help you notice your own “still small voice.”We are the authorities in our own lives!
• Intimacy-Integrity tension.  Now we’ll deal with the elephants in the room: your Family and Friends. It might be fine to redesign yourself and launch into a new direction but what about other people in your life who still believe?  We’ll get into pairs and talk about what each person is finding most challenging.You might be facing damage to relationships, a loss of an entire social circle, fears about parental reactions, guilt about hurting them, anger and desire for retaliation, and so forth. When we regroup we will discuss the issues and various options for moving forward. This area of recovery is often painful and difficult, and perhaps the greatest tragedy of religion – the way it separates people.  It is natural to want closeness with others, especially your family of origin, but as time goes on, it also feels necessary to be open and honest about who you really are now.  This is a tension that is not entirely resolvable because it is not entirely up to you, but there are some important concepts to understand that can help.

Lunch

• The magic of getting real.  It’s not easy to admit, but life isn’t easy.  Religion claims to solve all the tough problems and sometimes it may seem to work.  Yet the cost is very high.  In this segment the group explores the positives of religion and what seem to be the losses endured when giving it up.  We then look clearly at all the problems it created and appreciate the relief of being rid of these harmful elements and restrictions.  However, we then face the reality of needing to take responsibility and reconstruct every aspect of life.  Admitting the feelings about this is a useful part of clarifying these challenges.  Finally, we notice and celebrate the great number of advantages to being free of a rigid religion.  In the end, “real life” may still be hard, but waking up and rising to the task also opens us up to amazing things, and that kind of magic is better than trying to believe fairy tales.

Farewells, program evaluations, information about online group for follow-up. (Hugs available.)

 

Register for the June 8-11, 2023 retreat here, and make an initial deposit here. 

To return to the main retreat page, click here.

Dr. Marlene Winell, Ph.D., is the founder of Journey Free. Born and raised overseas by missionary parents, Marlene was immersed in fundamentalist Christianity from childhood. She moved away from that religion during college and found the transition process so difficult and intriguing that she began to research it professionally. In 1994 she publishedLeaving the Fold: a Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religionwhich has become a leading self-help book in the field of religious recovery. In 2011, she named Religious Trauma Syndrome.

Her undergraduate studies were in Social Ecology at the University of California, Irvine, where she focused on mental health and juvenile justice. She went on to earn a Masters in Social Ecology, with a special study of marriage and family relations. After a few years of working with adolescent programs, she earned her doctorate from Penn State in Human Development and Family Studies. Her area of special study was adult development – the changes people experience from late adolescence to old age. The division of the program was Human Development Intervention, which is the study and development of programs toenhancehuman development in adulthood.

Dr. Winell’s academic teaching began at Penn State and continued at Colorado State University, where she taught courses in adult development. At Boulder Graduate School and University of California, Santa Cruz, she taught communication skills for personal relationships and skills for living in a diverse society.  She was licensed as a psychologist in Colorado where she had a private therapy practice. She also worked as a psychologist in Australia for seven years before relocating to California. It has been her privilege over the years to supervise other therapists and teach subjects in psychotherapy.

At present, Marlene is based in Western Massachusetts. She does individual consultation, facilitates groups, teaches, and trains professionals in the field of religious trauma.

Jayme Winell,(she/they) is a community organizer and dance educator at the public charter school Pioneer Valley Performing Arts in South Hadley, Massachusetts.Jayme was raised in a secular humanist household, has evangelical extended family members and learned about recovery from religious harm from their mother, Marlene Winell.After attending San Francisco School of the Arts and majoring in dance, Jayme went to Hampshire College in Amherst, MA, and designed an undergraduate major in dance and theatre for community building.Jayme has helped to organize and run several retreats with Journey Free since 2003.Her specialty is in accessible movement and dance for all.Jayme has taught and performed in many different settings, from teaching classes at the local YMCA to dancing in a fountain at Stanford University. Her segments in the retreat help people relax, connect with others, have fun, appreciate their bodies and use physical means to promote healing and growth.Jayme leads exercises, games, and dance to get participants out of their heads and into their bodies with ease and joy.